called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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