Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
