plz talk dirty to me
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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