Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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