My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
foreskin is a definite game changer
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
