I'm so fucking centered right now
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
