I didn't shave. On purpose
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
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