I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize