It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
