i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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