I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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