should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We are all done wearing pants today
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
