I am in a vortex of obligation.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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