I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
