haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
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YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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