I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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