Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
