Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
