He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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