I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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