Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I would fuck him just for his dog
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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