I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
