So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
