There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize