we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
