i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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