Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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