Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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