are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
