Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My ATM looks so different sober.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
