please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
