I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
