He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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