Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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