I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
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I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
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I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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