well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
