I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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