so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
