a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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