Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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