tell your sister to shave her snatch
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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