so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
