Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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