My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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