YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
