i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
