let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
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He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
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The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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