Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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