Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
