Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
