I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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