We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
