If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
