I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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