you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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