Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
