Did you just see the Batmobile???
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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