I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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