I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
