So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
