Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
