i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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