jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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